Friday, 14 August 2015

Are we slaves to our emotions?

Have you ever screamed at someone for something for no mistake of theirs at all? Removed your anger concerning an entirely different issue on someone not involved? Ever wondered, why we do this? Can’t we compartmentalize our emotions? Are we slaves to our emotions?

Lets imagine, a man is getting ready to go for work, but his wife accidently burns his shirt, he gets angry.. spends time arguing with her, in which case he misses his bus (his anger and irritation builds on).. he reaches late for work.. gets told off from his boss.. he begins to remove his frustration at his coworkers!!! (for no fault of theirs) This man, starts to carry this heavy load of emotions on his back.. he cannot concentrate on his work! He so upset with how his day started that he cannot bring his focus back to what is important right now.. he misses to see the big picture. His bosses thinks he is a lousy employee, his wife thinks she is never appreciated.. and his coworkers think he is a stuck up ass with a lot of ego! 

A day like that will soon become a month and a year and then our life! In this case, if this man would have compartmentalized his priorities.. he would  have focused on getting to work and not fighting with his wife! We need to let the practical side of our personality take over.. and decide what is important at that instance! It’s not the shirt, not fighting and playing the blame game with his wife!

Agreed that the shirt was the trigger point, and everything else that followed was a domino effect! But if we are humans and supposedly one of the most evolved creatures on earth, isn’t it possible to take control of the domino effect and not succumb to our emotions?

That’s just “ANGER” there are so many other emotions, we give in to! Your action should trigger an emotion, not the other way around. However, that’s what is observed so many times! Another crucial emotion, we should never surrender to is “Sadness” and if a person, gives in to this, its just a downward spiral from there.. which will lead to depression, loneliness and isolation from rest of the community, finally leading to some sort of addiction and completely wasting their life!

The reason we have emotions, is because they act as a feedback to the psychology of each human. They are there to help us, in analyzing whether we are on the right track, they keep us in check! We aren’t supposed to live our life according to our emotions!

From the smallest things to the big life changing decisions, we run our life by giving a lot of power to our emotions! Learn to make your life simpler and easier, don’t give in so easily to what life throws at you!

There are 3 very important things I do to avoid this fatal trap! ConfusedGyani shares her gyan:

1.  Smile: Not matter what happens, not matter what is said.. Always SMILE first! There are many people who may taunt you and pass comments, or plain and simple be too picky about your work, your commitments or any other possible aspect they can think of! We always find such people.. don’t we..? and jump to respond.. that’s where we succumb into the emotions they create! If it’s a good comment/act – smile; if its not – still smile! Throw them off their game! So take a moment, take a deep breath, and Smile! Calm your self down! Trust me it helps!

2.  Think: After you have calmed yourself down, start analyzing, the facts.. do not jump to conclusions! Think and process what happened, why it happened and can it be dealt with later? Is that matter that important? Think! Think! Think! Who was involved in the situation, why did they do that, did they have an option? Also give benefit of doubt, that the person did not put you in this position intentionally! Put yourself in their shoes, and Think! This is the most important step, to not give in to your emotions.

3. Practicality: Thinking is important, but thinking practically is even more important! The human nature works in one-way of two, either emotionally or practically. For someone who has always been following their sentiments will find this step excruciatingly painful and difficult, but it is necessary! We need to inculcate practical thinking into our system, and take this journey one day at a time! But with time and experience, it will come like second nature! And that’s what separates us from our feelings!

So, this my honest attempt and I urge you all to get on to the path of practicality! Definitely emotions are an important part of our life! But make sure it is not the fuel to your life! Please let me know, if you have been in such a situation, how did you handle it? do you use any other techniques to get over these emotions? Any comments and suggestions for this week's blog or next week's topic are welcome! Please also, if you like reading ConfusedGyani's Gyan.. subscribe to it.. you will find a tiny little box to put in your details at the top right corner and make sure to like ConfusedGyani's Facebook Page as well (link in the comments below)!!!   :) 

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