In todays world, being egoistic or too self-absorbed is not the problem, but being under confident is. Not expecting this, right? I'm sure, if asked to categorize people we know as either over confident or low self-esteemed individuals, the list of over confident asses is definitely going to be more! But we are no one to judge others.. the main question is which category would you put yourself in? Doesn’t that change your thinking?
I'm certain, we have faced self doubt in some or the other way. And I don’t mean that to be in self-doubt, you have to be completely gothic/emo dressed in black and hate the world. How many times have you heard people say.. “I have never been good at this” or “not matter how many diets I try, I don’t loose weight” or “I don’t dance, because I am a bad dancer” “I can never pass the exams no matter how much I study!” or “I am only book smart, I cant talk to people” and then best one.. I am sure all of us have said this “my work is never appreciated, I must be horrible at it!” We all have self doubt.. some doubt their appearance, some doubt their skills. After all we are humans, we aren’t meant to be perfect at everything. But when someone passes a comment or especially a taunt; our confidence comes crashing down like a fragile house of cards.
Now before we do move on, I want you to take a minute and pick an aspect where you doubt yourself. Cause the next step is to see, where does this dangerous self loathing lead us to. Since these so called “people” and “society” tells you are not good at something.. your brain starts to question it.. You deny at first.. but as you keep performing that skill, you begin to doubt yourself.. and you affirm all the negative comments, when you accept them. Which leads to.. never reaching your goal!!
Lets take an example, people say, its very difficult to score well in an exam! Now if you are student and if you are going to accept some random person’s opinion as fact and apply it to your life, you tend to change your thoughts to “the exam is going to be tough no matter what! I will not be able to score well” We are the ones to blame! Because we take random opinions to be fact of our life! Please don’t do that! Make sure, your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears!
On the other hand, positive and constructive criticism can build a path for creativity and new ideas. However bad attitude, self-hatred and lack of confidence can turn it to destructive criticism.
Have you ever realized, that when some one pats your back for your actions, or appreciates and praises your work, you get a confidence boost? You feel like you can continue on this path, and this is where you are supposed be. All we seek for is a little validation. But why should you look for it elsewhere? If you are dependent on the world to motivate you.. you will always be waiting! Its time to be your own motivator and let go of all the negativity. Self-doubt is the anchor that keeps our ship from sailing!
Being in self-doubt and constant self criticism can be overwhelming and difficult to emerge from. But it is not impossible! The first step to this is to accept where you belong on the spectrum of skill and where you want to reach! So develop a planned goal! You need to realize, that confidence bashing is not going to lead you anywhere! So STOP IT!! And get out of your own way! Don’t be an obstacle for yourself!
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent! So don’t accept others opinions to be the truth in your life! Take a step back and take a deep breathe, analyze and think! If you are going to accept someone's view, who has never lost weight.. on healthy diets and exercise.. YOU ARE DOOMED!!
And even if, an expert tells you.. you can not do something, it is your call.. whether to accept it or not! You can either take that.. and bury your goal or you can accept the challenge, motivate yourself at every step! Only action will make self doubt disappear! Maybe you fail at doing something the conventional way! Still don’t give up! Let that failure strike a creative process.. you may develop other methods to reach your goal, without giving up!
Please, please, please leave some comments as to how you liked this weeks blog! also i would love to hear about your battle with self doubt, i am sure it would be such an inspiration to everyone else. Any suggestions on my next blog post are always welcome! Thanks for reading this one! :)