Friday, 11 December 2015

Be Grateful for the Confusion!

We humans, get up in confusion live our entire day in dilemma and go to bed with so many unsolved questions of life, just to get up to another bright sunny day with a new set of confusions.

We are generally in thoughts about, what should I wear today to work, is this formal enough? We quickly scan our options in mind, and then make a decision. If you are a female, you have an extra set of crucial judgements as such the lipstick colour, and the fact that it must match with some part of your outfit, and that it can be the same shade you put on yesterday!  On a serious note, no one really cares! But we as individuals do, we care about the tiniest of our decisions! As we conquer one quest of choices, we are faced with another. What to eat for breakfast? What should you cook? Now this plays out the entire day for the rest of your life! And if you are a tiny bit more health conscious, this isn’t an easy choice to make a run for fastfood or take away. Which makes it more difficult!

From the easy minute decisions, to the big ones.. as is your partner “the one” for you? When is the right time to tie the knot! What to do with your life? What should be your career path? These are the difficult choices of life.. and most of the times, we are so afraid of the unknown, we are afraid of what would happen next, that we either get eaten up by our fears or we let the opportunity slip out of our hands.. we don’t do anything! We procrastinate and wonder of all the possibilities.. the good, bad and ugly ones. We end up in such a place where we don’t want to take responsibility of our life! Because its just too many decisions and too many choices!! And the worst of all, the immense pressure to make the correct choice always!

To deal with this immense pressure, we sought out to relax and calm our mind.. But how are you going to do that? Which method are you going to select? Is a choice again!!! Whether you want to let your hair down and party or want to curl up in a blanket and watch a movie.. it’s a choice and a preference! And at times, when you have to make soo many selections.. and make them at every point and numerous times a day it is exhausting!!!

But we forget the most important part of this process it is the liberty to make these choices! Some people don’t have a choice to decide what to eat, what to wear.. because they have nothing to eat! They have only one pair of raggedy clothes, and though they wish they had choices, they don’t! So many people from the young generation are confused with what to so with their lives, but such a decision was not available for us to make a few generations ago! If you were expected to be part of a profession, you must be.. no questions asked! Some live with that norm today as well! Some don’t decide who their life partner is going to be, they just follow decisions made on their behalf! We all know someone who is or was part of such a situation, and we sympathise with them. However we don’t stop cribbing about our life and the choices we have to make!

We need to learn to give it a break! We need to be grateful that we have choices in your life and that we have the freedom to make them. Don’t crib over the fact that you pick from two average looking outfits to wear, be happy that you at the very least have them! In dilemma whether to walk to the supermarket or drive down there? Be happy that you have all your limbs in tact to have a choice to walk and are privileged enough to have a car (no matter how old) to drive down if you wish to! Confused, whether you should eat a burger or a sandwich.. be appreciative that you have money in your pocket to decide. When you get to make a choice about what you want to do in life and also have your friends and family supporting you and still cant make up your mind because there are just too many options (life can be cruel at times), be thankful cause you might be one of the few lucky ones.. and you can choose anything you want to do.. or anyone you want to be! We only have to remember to be grateful for our choices and the confusion it brings along!

That’s it, for this week’s post.. Have your say at the confusions of life.. and what has been the most difficult decision in your life? Let me know what are some of the daily decisions that exhaust you? and what are the situations, where you feel grateful that you have freedom to choose! Leave them down in the comments section below! Any comments or suggestions about this blog post are welcome! 

Monday, 23 November 2015

Life Hack – To keep Negativity at Bay!

How many of us, feel negativity in various types of emotions in our daily grind, stuck in traffic you might feel irritated, disappointed with poor results of hardwork which will definitely lead to frustration. Being surrounded by negative people and their cribbing and cringing at everything they do, just brings you down as well. What we need to realize is that negativity is a two way street, and only when we respond to it, it enters our mind.
Negativity, is the modern day ghost! I remember when I was child I was told of this story, a man walking in an empty street after dark, a night darker than a no moon. The man hears a soft voice calling out his name, but he knows there is no one behind him. He knows he is the only one walking on street but then who is calling out to him? Could be a ghost? He hears his name again, and can feel the entity creep closer and closer to him.. He knows he is in trouble, he starts walking faster and faster with fear.. but he knows not to turn around and acknowledge the voice, because once you do that.. You will be damned forever! The same applies to negativity.. it is the modern day ghost.. it calls out to us in different ways. To be safe, we need to make sure we don’t respond to it. If we respond and acknowledge, it makes way in to our minds and soul! It distracts from our path to our true goal of happiness!
 Free yourself from all the negativity that’s drowning you. Source:
Here are a few things I do, to keep negativity at bay!
1. We are gifted with two ears- please use them!
 We hear so many negative comments in our daily life, some our projected towards us, some we come across with others cribbing about their life! I am sure we are all familiar with these “Oh! I’m too fat! Look, she is prettier than you! I am not smart enough! No one likes me! I will never accomplish anything! I hate my situation!” It is inevitable to avoid hearing them.. but we can hear from one ear and discard using the second! Don’t allow it to stay rent free in our mind!
2. Don’t over complicate life more than it needs to be
We human were not built this way, but we have fine tuned ourselves to always think the worst, or overcomplicate the matter more than it is! We end up thinking, why did he/she say that.. what did they mean? What if, what I am hoping for does not happen? We need to quit overthinking and over complicating life, more than it already is!
3.Treasure hunt for positivity in negative comments
Our main goal of survival on this earth is to be happy, and live everyday of our life with happiness within and around us! Even if negativity is trying to get into our life, we should go on a treasure hunt for happiness.. its present around us, we just need to locate it and focus on positivity and happiness. When we decide to let go of the demeaning comments from someone and don’t let it affect us, it is like solving a puzzle, obtaining a clue.. getting closer to the treasure of eternal happiness.

4. Do something you love
Bring more positivity in to your life. Whether its is music, any kind of sport, meditation, art or even watching funny movies or videos online.. find your escape from reality. It helps remove the negativity from our souls, replenishes the energy and allows us to gain a different perspective to life and our situation. It will help us in reaching one step closer to our treasure!
5. Don’t start negativity
Whether it is about yourself or about others.. try not to indulge in the guilty pleasure of gossip (More on the Psychology of gossip - ) Remember it is a two way street. Never say anything to yourself or to others that you would not say to a discouraged younger sibling or your best friend! Always help others find positivity in their life.. and it will show up on your door too!
So this is my teeny tiny list of things I do to keep negativity at bay. What are some of the tactics that you use? And what are your views regarding these. Give it a go in the comments section below! Have your say at it! And also if you any comments or suggestions for a new blogpost, please leave them in the comments section below. J 

Tuesday, 27 October 2015

5 ways to motivate yourself

In this competitive world, we lack motivation more than anything else! Motivation to even take the first step to begin a new journey. Or motivation to pick up all the pieces and begin again or try again.
It gets even worse when we look for motivation from the outside.. surely that can help sometimes when we have friends, colleagues  or family supporting us through a trying time. But such help might not be available at all times! This is when we fall apart or we can look for motivation within our self!
To help those, who want to motivate themselves, I have prepared a short list of methods that I am sure will help!
1.      Focus on the POSITIVE: many a times, we lose sight of the goal, and our vision becomes blurry because we tend to focus on the efforts that may be required, the things we might need to sacrifice to achieve the goal! Let’s imagine, you are studying for exams, but don’t want to give up going out or are too scared of the subject, that you don’t even begin studying and already know that it is difficult and torturous! Now come on! That’s a teeny tiny bit unfair. Always remember to keep your eyes on the prize.
2.      Take a break: Sometimes we get so engrossed and obsessed with our failures that we forget that we might be a step away from the biggest breakthrough of our life! We failures come one after the other.. we might need to take a step back and think! What are we doing.. where are we going wrong? Trust me any situation can be improved we just need to realise our mistakes.. and divert and attention towards the solutions and not the problems and mistakes.
3.      Life is a Nintendo game after all: I am sure in this fast paced age of technology.. we have all been addicted to a one kind of video game or the other.. it might be on the play station or the Xbox or even our androids/ iphones. When you lose the game on a specific level.. we don’t disconnect or uninstall the game! Hell no! we try again, and fail again.. and strategize again.. we strategize better.. even in games, we learn to allocate resources and time more effectively.. and then we try again and succeed the level and then move on to the next one!
But before, we move from one level to the other.. the sense of accomplishment we have.. and the smile that comes on to our face is priceless self-motivation in disguise!
If we were to tackle every problem or situation in our life like a new level of super Mario, we would motivate ourselves to try new things.. make new mistakes.. perfect our strategies. Let the failure fuel you to success.
4.      Motivate someone else: this is my personal favourite! If you have ever tried this, you would know, getting someone out of their misery.. definitely helps them look at the brighter side but also helps you forget your problems and you might end up motivating yourself.. like they say.. you don’t realise you are drowning when you are trying to be someone’s anchor.. well I say.. you never know, you might end up swimming yourself ashore being someone else life jacket!! :P
5.      Find inspiration: it can be something you do or someone you believe in, just look for inspiration in situation. If you are ever travelling by the bus or the train.. and find yourself surrounded by strangers, try and find inspiration amongst them.. when you are playing with your pet dog.. try and pick up inspiration from them! Idolising someone is the easiest way to get inspiration.. it helps us know and understand that the goals are achievable and that they are human too and most of them would have had their share of struggles as well. It helps us build the thought if they can do it, I can do it! To reach where they are now, they too focused on the good, and constantly motivated themselves.
Some would find inspiration in the activities they do, like meditating.. or surrendering our thought process by indulging art. Whatever you do, wherever you are, you can always be inspired and motivated.
So, that’s it for this week’s post. I know its been long since a ConfusedGyani blogpost has been published.. my sincere apologies to my faithful readers.. and hope to continue genuinely now. Hope you all liked this weeks blog.. and would love hear any comments or suggestions from you all regarding this weeks blogpost and the ConfusedGyani’s Journey until now.

Friday, 25 September 2015

Zoom Out!

Quite often in our day to day lives.. we get so engrossed in the monotony of our routine, we forget what is our main purpose.
Most of us, are not in our ideal position at the moment.. with the best job.. best salary.. luxurious home to live in.. I have personally come across so many people who are underemployed.. they don’t tend to utilize their full potential.. Flip side of the coin, we might notice people who work two jobs.. or even three.. just to make ends meet.. and still at the end of the day.. when all you hear is words of disappointment.. from your teachers.. boss.. or family.. even your friends.. its very easy to give up.. Lose hope.. and say the dreadful words “I CANT”
What’s the next step.. that the humans cling to.. after they have lost hope of achieving anything.. or are not sure of where their life is leading them on to.. They attach themselves to the nasty state of “DENIAL”. In this case they do not want to think about the situation, they are escaping from it.. or they have accepted their life and their future as their present!  But is this where you want to be? Is this your goal? your destination? Or is this just moment in your journey?

We tend to blame and hold ourselves responsible for everything wrong in our life.. (Which is a good thing, because then you can change the direction to actually meet your destination!) But what do we do.. we get trapped between the first step.. of accepting responsibility for our life and the next step which is actually action to improve it.. and we get trapped with the life mantra of “jaise zindagi chal rahi hai.. usse waise hi chalne do!”
We get so demotivated, that we accept that we are constantly going to be in a meaningless job, or never find our soulmate.. never get married.. or never to pass to actually have a credited qualification.. Our life doesn’t make any more sense itoo to us! You keep thinking.. where am I stuck! This is not where I wanted to be..
Which is wrong!! Our actions and thoughts have a huge impact on life.. and our future actions..
What we need to realize is, that we should not take small, trivial disappointments to be the final outcome for our life..  When we are standing underneath a tall building.. all we see is chaos on the street.. lots of traffic.. probably construction work.. across the street.. a lady crossing the road with a crying child.. Does not make sense.. right? Now if you were to go on to the top of the building.. what would be the scene like.. beautiful vision.. maybe you can see the ocean on the horizon.. there is no noise.. no pollution.. no distractions.. you are calm here.. you can see the entire picture here! This is what we need to apply to our life as well!
We need to let go.. of the daily dose of drama.. the tiny issues.. so that we can look at the big picture! See where you started a year ago.. and where you are now.. how much you have progressed, how much you have survived! And how strong you are now.. then what you were before..
And the next time.. you hear complaints and disappointing statements.. or your efforts are not showing the desired results.. Keep saying “This is just a stepping stone.. and not my destination!” After all you have to motivate yourself.. no one else is coming to save you!
Lets try and make this a new mantra.. “This is just a stepping stone and not my destination!” Even if you said a couple of times while reading this.. I am sure it will change your outlook.. on your present situation! Learn to Zoom Out on the picture of your life.. and you will enjoy the scene, a pixelated picture is just ugly!
So guys, that’s it for this time’s post.. Share your thoughts in the comments sections.. how did you like this weeks blog.. and do let me know.. if you have any suggestions or comments for my future blogging adventures! Do subscribe to more Gyan.. and check out the new twitter page for ConfusedGyani along with the Facebook page.. Links in the comments section! 

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Life lessons from the heroes of our life!

We come across so many people in our day to day monotonous life.. Some we know very well like our family and friends.. some we prefer to know as just acquaintances.. like our colleagues, classmates or teachers.. and some we don’t know at all.. complete strangers we meet in train or on the bus.. or in a restaurant..

They say, life teaches us, everything necessary to know, to survive.. true.. But life teaches us these lessons through these wonderful people we know, these people who we call our family or friends.. and sometimes, if the lesson is really really important.. life makes sure we learn it.. even if it is from the hands of a stranger! I call these people heroes.. they are the ones, that have guided me through confusing times.. served as an inspiration.. when I really needed it.. or even when I did not need it.. but was acting lazy.. anyone who has taught me an important life lesson.. whether directly or indirectly.. is a hero in my life!

Here, I would like to share a few life lessons that I have learned from the heroes of my life! Hopefully you can relate to them!

Accept your mistakes! – this is the most important life lesson, I have learnt! I have seen people throw their lives into the drain.. but take a complete U turn and personify the saying “At any given moment you have the power to say: this is not how the story is going to end”. These are the people you thought are set for doom! But prove you wrong.. when they accept their mistake.. and decide that their life is in their hands.. that they are 100% responsible for their lives! So they take all the burden with a smile and keep working to make their life a better one!

Let it go – Now this one, is tricky.. but an important lesson to learn! To let go of the things not in your control.. to let of things when you cant change them, but just have to accept them! But I have been lucky enough, where the heroes of my life did not force me to learn this.. they let the idea of forgiveness, acceptance and letting go blossom in me like a tiny flower blossoming in my heart! Because, I learnt from my heroes the more grudges and negativity you keep within your heart.. the pain “you” get, forgiving someone who does not deserve it.. is actually the best thing you can do to maintain the tranquillity of your heart and soul!

Be Silent- If you are a good human being, you will be appreciated (period.) There are no two ways to that! You might be appreciated within 5 minutes, or 5 months.. or even 5 years.. but you will get your due share of appreciation and acknowledgement! You never have to run after it! I learned this from people, who acted like fools and ran after being appreciated and respected.. they demanded it.. and did manage to get it to some extent.. but it was obvious that people did not mean to respect you.. and do it “just because!”

However, I also learned.. that people who do not ask for it.. and keep doing the good deeds in their life without any expectations.. are the ones that get the most respect and the ones that you may look up to or idolize! They never asked for it! Also, it is important to know, that these people do good.. because it generates a calm serene and good feeling within us, not for appreciation!

Resilience – life surrounds us, with both type of people.. the lazy ones and the hardworking ones.. it is your choice who you look at.. from who do you wish to learn! The resilient heroes taught me.. that if you want to achieve something, go after it.. it will not be served to you! I learned, nothing comes easy and it is necessary to be hard working towards your goal! If you don’t have it, you work hard to achieve it.. but if you are lucky enough for it to be served on a silver platter.. you still have to work hard to maintain it! There is no other way!

I have been fortunate enough to learn that overcoming any challenge should be done with a smile and lots of enthusiasm, that that is the true essence of being resilient!

Walking away – Now this one, especially goes to the people, who taught me, made me wonder “whether they were bringing negativity in my life?” and if they were.. I learned to walk away from them.. I learned to disconnect and selectively socialize! Firstly, it is not important for you to know everyone.. and know everyone’s sad story! Again, I would say.. life brings you both kinds of people.. positive and negative.. it is upto you, what you decide to learn! Everyone teaches you something.. may be big or small..

Negative people taught me.. what I should not do.. like talk about my problems for sympathy, be vengeful or two-faced.. are just some of those! And when I had already learned these lessons.. and if I be with them anymore, it is just going to bring negativity in to my life.. I cut them off! Because you are 100% responsible for your life! Your choices decide your future!

So.. those are a few life lessons that I have learned.. from the heroes of my life! Please let me know, if I missed out on any.. or share your experiences of learning the life lessons.. Any comments or suggestions on Confused Gyani’s journey up til now or for the future posts are welcome..

Also check out the poll below.. which topic would you like ConfusedGyani to write on.. Hypocrisy or Sarcasm? You can take the poll or if not visible for certain mobile versions.. you can answer it in the comments section below! Also don’t forget to check out the Facebook page for ConfusedGyani.. #GyanoFTheDay #GFTD #Gifted begins today! Also make sure to subscribe to more gyan! :)

Monday, 31 August 2015

5 Personalities we all have.

This is just something I have noticed in myself and other people.. and it is not a write up on split personality! Sorry to disappoint! However, I am pretty sure it is still going to be a good one!
Have you all observed how some people behave in a way in front of you and differently in front of others? We are usually quick to realize others doing that.. but we do it ourselves.. wondered how you act differently in front of your parents or teachers.. and completely different in front of your friends?

So, just for a little fun, I have compiled a list of 5 personalities we all have.. (P.S. I don’t mean to offend anyone; this is just light-hearted humor)

Number 1: Big ego.. Big talk.. - Now we all have ego, but it usually tends to show up completely unannounced when we face people we don’t like! These can be our classmates, colleagues, long lost relatives, who think no end of themselves! So what do we do? We bring out our egoistic self in front of them.. and completely disagree with whatever they say! If this person was to say, the earth is a sphere.. we will even go to the extent to say.. “NO! it’s flat !” Just because we cannot see eye to eye! Ridiculous isn’t it? 

Or the second thing our ego does is, push us above them! Show the world, how you are the kindest and sweetest person alive and they are not! Its difficult to accept, but we have all been there! That might even lead to backbiting and gossiping!

Number 2: Ass licking – This one usually shows up , when you have an assignment due you start praising your team members or teachers for  extra marks, or you want a promotion at work, you praise your boss, you want a favor from someone? Best and easiest way.. butter them up! In this situation, your new personality will agree with whatever they say, or ask you to do! You might even end up tolerating their nonsense! And the list of people who like to get their ass licked is endless! Basically everyone you know!

And don’t think , these people don’t realize your personality change.. Like I said earlier, it is easier for us to notice the change in the others. These people realize the change and use it for their advantage! They give you a bait, reel you in.. let you struggle a bit but in the end capture you to get their ass licked! The most extreme scenario for this personality is to getting under peer pressure and committing mistakes that may change you life forever.

Number 3:Yes Sir/ No Sir - This is the situation when you are dealing with elders.. whether our teachers, or grandparents, parents even some old uncles and aunties! in such a situation you have no choice but to listen to them.. and you can not even be rude to them.. soo most of your conversation with them ends up being.. "yes grandma.. no grandma.. ok grandma" This kind of personality comes up, because this people do not want to hear anything else from us.. except a "yes man" attitude! this especially happens when you end having arguments with them.. and the only way to get out alive without facing their wraith is to agree, and nod away 

Number 4: Okay to everything - Now this situation is slightly similar to the previous.. in the previous, you wanted to prove a point.. but just because they are elder.. you had to shut up, put your nose down.. apologise and agree with their point of view.. But in this situation.. you SIMPLY DONT CARE!!! these are the conversations.. you wish you could avoid! Imagine.. you are getting late for work.. and you happen to meet a friend.. and start talking.. exchanging a smile or a few pleasantries is fine.. but if this person starts elaborating their entire life story.. that you are completely and genuinely not interested in.. that when this personality arises.. you just say "okay" to everything.. to get out the situation.. 

Even in cases, you have nothing much to do.. except waste away your time on youtube watching videos (I totally do that!) if you are not  interested in the conversation.. you might just say "yeah.. true.. blah blah blah.. totally agree.. okay.. " to finish that quickly so you can resume procrastinating!

Number 5: Your true self – This is the last on the list, but it is the best one! This is when you are exactly who are! You don’t need to pretend to like or dislike something. You don’t need to suppress your emotions, feelings or opinions! You don’t need to justify or prove yourself right neither do you require validation! Some can be their true self with their partners, some can be with their closest friends or family.. Some find their true selves in solitude. The most important thing is to find this personality and nurture it! Because you can be yourself without putting in any effort.. and that's the ultimate stage of tranquility! wouldn't we all want that.. so find your true self and embrace it!

So let me know.. how did you like this week's blog..?!?! how many of these 5 do you'll connect to? and are there any more that I missed out.. I'm pretty sure I did.. so put them down in the comments section! How have you been finding the Confused Gyani's journey up till now..? any comments, motivational words.. or suggestions are welcome! Also any suggestions for my next post are welcome too ! if you haven't seen the Facebook page of ConfusedGyani as yet.. don't wait.. check it out now.. link is below in the comments.. also.. you can now subscribe.. so you don't miss out on any latest Gyan! :)